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On Not Doctoring the Family--Too Weird and Dangerous

A. Mark Clarfield, MD

Although I am a doctor, I have fought a long and more or less successful battle against becoming my own family's doctor. I know that I am not alone in struggling with this dilemma. It is not that we physicians don't love our old relatives, and certainly, it is not that we don't want to help out. The reason we wish to stay out of family health matters is, simply put, fear. As medical practitioners we are afraid that since family members are so near and dear to us, our judgment might be impaired if we acted as their physician.

Of course in an emergency, most MDs would do whatever became necessary. Dr. Howard Bergman, Chief of Geriatrics at Montreal's Jewish General Hospital declared, "A Heimlich manoeuvre or cardiac massage would be accomplished almost as a reflex, should--G-d forbid--anyone close to me need such an intervention."

Personally, I have, on occasion, gently steered family members away from certain operations and diagnostic procedures when my advice was sought. I have even viewed and passed judgment on my own father's cardiac angiogram before he underwent coronary artery bypass surgery several years ago. Like most physicians, I have looked into my children's ears, and have, albeit reluctantly, prescribed antibiotics for my offspring.

Dr. Ilan Benjamin, a Montreal family physician, agrees but offers, "Whenever I can, I duck the issue and get my family off to a real doctor, someone who may well like them enough, but does not love them too dearly.